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NAME

       luser  -  process  to  control  the  clueless  individuals who (mis)use
       computer systems, peripheral devices and  system  administrators.  Word
       play on "loser" and "user".

SYNOPSIS

       luser [-d] [-g<level>] [-s] <lusername>

DESCRIPTION

       luser  is  the  primary tool a system administrator uses to manage end-
       user requests. This powerful tool can actually cause the specified user
       to perform actions as specified by the flags.

       With  no  flags,  luser  deletes  every  running  process  owned by the
       specified <lusername>.

OPTIONS

       -d     Disk reclamation mode. Remove all files in the home directory of
              <lusername>.

       -g<level>
              Grovel  mode.  Causes  the  specified  luser  to  make an act of
              contrition to the sysadmin for past sins. The <level>  indicates
              the severity of the contrition:

       LEVEL

       0      User  makes a sincere apology and promises to never do it again.

       1      User buys sysadmin  a  large  quantity  of  sysadmin’s  favorite
              beverage.

       2      User signs over ownership of his/her car to sysadmin.

       3      User  resigns  from  the  company after writing a long letter of
              apology detailing his/her failings.

       4      User commits ritual suicide by sucking  on  a  power  strip  and
              grounding himself to a conduit.

NOTES

       Sysadmins  are  encouraged  to use the -s option as a way to smarten up
       the world’s user base. Use  the  -g  option  at  level  4  outside  the
       confines of the machine room. The more lusers that witness the act, the
       better.

SEE ALSO

       sysadmin(1)

BUGS

       Occasionally, the luser may survive the effects of luser -g4.  In  that
       event,  a  second  invocation  of  the command will usually prove to be
       fatal.

HISTORY

       Written by Eric L. Pederson <eric@bofh.org.uk>.

                               25 September 1995                      LUSER(8)