Provided by: funny-manpages_2.3-1_all bug


       rtfm - a response for easy questions from clueless lusers


       rtfm [ -p ] [ -h ] [ -d option ] [ -i interval ] [ -a action ] [ -q luser]


       rtfm  is  a  command  for system administrators to use in dealing with new users.  rtfm is
       useful for  dealing  with  users  having  trouble  with  their  pictures  downloaded  from   rtfm  will  continue  to  run until killed by hand, using
       `kill processid'.  rtfm can be invoked by anyone who has enough of a clue to know  what  a
       man page is.


       -p     Give the answer in a polite fashion.

       -h     Tell  the  clueless  luser  to  go  to  hell. Used with the -p option, they'll look
              forward to the trip.

       -d option
              Debug mode using option where option is one of the following:

              query Ask the luser what part of rtfm that he or she does not understand.

              planet Ask what planet the luser is from.

              literacy Ask the luser if the luser can read.

              english Ask the luser if the luser understands English.

              Mac Ask the luser if the luser has ever used a computer other than a Macintosh.

              Nintendo Same as the Mac option, but slightly more harsh.

       -i interval
              Enable within interval seconds. interval is the time between  a  luser  asking  the
              same  damn  fool  question.   This  option  must be activated for the -a option. It
              stores the time of the question in /var/run/luser and checks that  file  each  time
              that  rtfm is activated.  interval is a number of minutes, of the form xxx.xx where
              each x is a decimal digit. The default is 5.00 minutes.

       -a action
              This defines some action to be taken in the event that the  -i  flag  condition  is
              met.  action  can be defined either at the flag level or by a file. The options for
              flags are as follows:

              scream Let out a scream of utter frustration.

              hair Rip out your hair in total frustration.

              rm Automatic command ran in lusers home directory. It can have an addition -rf flag

              ignore Ignore the luser.

              warn Warn the other sysadmins.

              forward  Forward  to  CNS  advising.  Particullary if the complaint is /dev/null is

              kill Kill all the lusers processes.

     Use a file to define a course of actions. This can be any executable
              file  except those using ksh, which no god-fearing right-thinking sysadmin would be
              caught using lest he be struck down by the wrath of God.

       -q luser
              Query file /etc/luser to see if luser is a real luser or a first time luser.






       rtfm only checks /var/run/luser when the -a option is specified and after the -i option is
       invoked.  Otherwise /tmp would fill up rapidly on many systems. Also, core may dump if the
       -a FILE= option is anatomically impossible.