Provided by: funny-manpages_1.3-5_all
gong - evaluate process performance
gong [-f] [-a] process-id
Gong is used to evaluate the performance of a process that is in execution. The process-id is the process number of the process whose performance is to be evaluated. The evaluation is performed by a set of three ``panelist'' routines, each of which analyzes one aspect (time, space, and tonality) of the performance of the process. If any of these routines is not amused by the performance, the process being analyzed is sent the gong(2) signal. In addition, the process-id of the evaluated process is written on the standard gong, for possible future corrective action. (It is suggested that the standard gong be an audible alarm for proper effect.) It is expected that after being gong(2)ed, the process will promptly commit suicide. The -f keyletter argument indicates that gong is to invoke flog(1) with the unmerciful argument if the process does not respond to gong(2)ing. In the absence of this argument, the process is continuously gong(2)ed, which may lead to the process becoming a deaf zombie. The -a keyletter argument indicates that if all three of the panelist routines gong(2) a process, the process should be unmercifully flog(1)ged whether or not the -f keyletter is supplied.
/dev/ding.dong is the standard gong.
On the Applicability of Gonging to the Performance and Merit Review Process, Journal of Irreproducible Results, vol. 263, issue 19, pp. 253-307.