Provided by: funny-manpages_1.3-5.1_all bug

NAME

       flog — speed up a process

SYNOPSIS

       flog [-l n] [-a m] [-u] process-id

DESCRIPTION

       Flog  is  used to stimulate an improvement in the performance of a process that is already
       in execution.  The process-id is  the  process  number  of  the  process  that  is  to  be
       disciplined.

       The  value n of the -l flag is the flagellation constant, i.e., the number of lashes to be
       administered per minute.  If this argument is omitted, the default is  17,  which  is  the
       most random random number.

       The  value  m  of  the  -a flag is the number of times the inducement to speed up is to be
       administered.  If this argument is omitted, the default is one,  which  is  based  on  the
       possibility that after that the process will rectify its behavior of its own volition.

       The  presence of the -u flag indicates that flog is to be unmerciful in its actions.  This
       nullifies the effects of the other keyletter  arguments.   It  is  recommended  that  this
       option  be used only on extremely stubborn processes, as its over-use may have detrimental
       effects.

FILES

       Flog will read the file /have/mercy for any entry containing the process-id of the process
       being  speeded-up.  The file can contain whatever supplications are deemed necessary, but,
       of course, these will be ignored if the -u flag is supplied.

SEE ALSO

       On Improving Process Performance by the Administration of Corrective Stimulation,  CACM  ,
       vol. 4, 1657, pp. 356-654.

DIAGNOSTICS

       If  a  named process does not exist, flog replies ``flog you'' on the standard output.  If
       flog happens to kill(2) the process, which usually happens when the -u keyletter  argument
       is  supplied,  it  writes  ``RIP,''  followed  by  the  process-id of the deceased, on the
       standard output.

BUGS

       Spurious supplications for mercy by the process being flogged sometimes  wind  up  on  the
       standard output, rather than in /shut/up.

                                                                                          FLOG(1)