Provided by: geekcode_1.7.3-6build1_amd64 bug


       geekcode - generate geek code block




       So you think you are a geek, eh? The first step is to admit to yourself your geekiness. No
       matter what anyone says, geeks are people too; geeks have rights. So take  a  deep  breath
       and  announce  to the world that you are a geek.  Your courage will give you strength that
       will last you forever.

       How to tell the world you are a geek, you ask? Use the universal Geek  code!   Using  this
       special  code  will allow you to let other un-closeted geeks know who you are in a simple,
       codified statement.

       The single best way to announce your geekhood is to add your geek code to  your  signature
       file  or  plan  and announce it far and wide. But be careful, you may give other geeks the
       courage to come out of the closet. You might want to hang on to your copy of the  code  in
       order to help them along.


       The  geek  code consists of several categories. Each category is labeled with a letter and
       some qualifiers. Go through each category and  determine  which  set  of  qualifiers  best
       describes  you in that category.  By stringing all of these 'codes' together, you are able
       to construct your overall geek code. It is this single line of code that will inform other
       geeks the world over of what a great geek you actually are.

       Some of the qualifiers will very probably not match with you exactly.  It is impossible to
       cover all possibilities in each category. Simply choose that qualifier that  most  closely
       matches  you.  Also,  some activities described in a specific qualifier you may not engage
       in, while you do engage in others. Each description of each qualifier describes  the  wide
       range  of  activities  that  apply, so as long as you match with one, you can probably use
       that qualifier.

       After you have determined each of your qualifiers, you need to  the  construct  your  GEEK
       CODE BLOCK. Instructions are provided on how to do this towards the end of this file.

       Also,  pay particular attention to case-sensitivity, there can be a big difference between
       a w and a W.


       Geeks can seldom be strictly quantified. To  facilitate  the  fact  that  within  any  one
       category  the  geek  may  not  be able to determine a specific rating, variables have been
       designed to allow this range to be included.

       @      for this variable, said trait is not very rigid,  may  change  with  time  or  with
              individual interaction. For example, Geeks who happen to very much enjoy Star Trek:
              The Next Generation, but dislike the old 60's series might list themselves as t++@.

       ()     for indicating "cross-overs" or ranges. Geeks who go from C+ to C---  depending  on
              the situation (i.e. mostly C+) could use C+(---). @ is different from () in that ()
              has finite limits within the category, while @ ranges all over.

       >      for 'wannabe' ratings. Indicating that while the geek is currently at  one  rating,
              they  are  striving to reach another.  For example, C++>$ indicating a geek that is
              currently computer savvy, but wants to someday make money at it.

       $      Indicates that this particular category is done for a living.  For example,  UL+++$
              indicates  that  the person utilizes Unix and gets paid for it. Quite a lucky geek,
              for sure.

       ?      Unless stated otherwise within the specific category, the ?  is  placed  after  the
              category  identifier  and  indicates  that  the  geek  has  no knowledge about that
              specific category. For example, a person that has never even heard  of  Babylon  5,
              would list their Babylon 5 category as 5?

       !      Placed  BEFORE  the  category.  Unless  stated otherwise, indicates that the person
              refuses to participate in this category. This is unlike the ?  variable  as  the  ?
              indicates lack of knowledge, while the ! indicates stubborn refusal to participate.
              For example, !E would be a person that just plain refuses to have  anything  to  do
              with Emacs, while E? would be a person that doesn't even know what Emacs is.

Types of Geeks

       Geeks  come  in  many  flavors. The flavors relate to the vocation (or, if a student, what
       they are training in) of the particular geek. To start a code, a geek must declare himself
       or  herself  to  be  a  geek.  To  do this, we start the code with a "G" to denote "GEEK",
       followed by one or two letters to denote the geek's occupation or field of study.   Multi-
       talented  geeks  with  more  than  one  vocational  training should denote their myriad of
       talents with a slash between each vocation (example: GCS/MU/TW).

       GB     Geek of Business

       GC     Geek of Classics

       GCA    Geek of Commercial Arts

       GCM    Geek of Computer Management

       GCS    Geek of Computer Science

       GCC    Geek of Communications

       GE     Geek of Engineering

       GED    Geek of Education

       GFA    Geek of Fine Arts

       GG     Geek of Government

       GH     Geek of Humanities

       GIT    Geek of Information Technology

       GJ     Geek of Jurisprudence (Law)

       GLS    Geek of Library Science

       GL     Geek of Literature

       GMC    Geek of Mass Communications

       GM     Geek of Math

       GMD    Geek of Medicine

       GMU    Geek of Music

       GPA    Geek of Performing Arts

       GP     Geek of Philosophy

       GS     Geek of Science (Physics, Chemistry, Biology, etc.)

       GSS    Geek of Social Science (Psychology, Sociology, etc.)

       GTW    Geek of Technical Writing

       GO     Geek of Other. Some types of geeks deviate from the normal geek activities. This is
              encouraged as true geeks come from all walks of life.

       GU     Geek of 'Undecided'. This is a popular vocation with incoming freshmen.

       G!     Geek of no qualifications. A rather miserable existence, you would think.

       GAT    Geek  of  All  Trades.  For  those  geeks  that can do anything and everything. GAT
              usually precludes the use of other vocational descriptors.


       They say you never get a second chance to make a first impression.  That seems to be ample
       justification  to  invent  a  time machine; just to play with the minds of the people that
       make up these silly  sayings.   Nevertheless,  until  we  completely  understand  temporal
       mechanics  and  can get both a DeLorean and a Flux Capacitor in the same place at the same
       time at 88 miles an hour, we need to understand that how we  look  is  a  mark  that  will
       effect us for the rest of our lives, or at least until we change clothes.

       The  Geek,  of course, doesn't believe any of that crap. How we look has little to do with
       what we are inside, and who we are as people. Yet, people still want to know what we  look
       like.  Thus,  this  section  allows you to list out all the relevant traits about what you
       look like on a normal geeky day.

       It is said that "clothes make the man". Well, I understood that I was made by a mommy  and
       a daddy (and there's even a category to describe the process below!). Maybe the people who
       made up that saying aren't being quite that literal...

       d++    I tend to wear conservative dress such as a business suit or worse, a tie.

       d+     Good leisure-wear. Slacks, button-shirt, etc. No jeans, tennis shoes, or t-shirts.

       d      I dress a lot like those found in catalog  ads.  Bland,  boring,  without  life  or

       d-     I'm usually in jeans and a t-shirt.

       d--    My t-shirts go a step further and have a trendy political message on them.

       d---   Punk dresser, including, but not limited to, torn jeans and shirts, body piercings,
              and prominent tattoos.

       dx     Cross Dresser

       d?     I have no idea what I am wearing right now, let alone what I wore yesterday.

       !d     No clothing. Quite a fashion statement, don't you think?

       dpu    I wear the same clothes all the time, no matter  the  occasion,  forgetting  to  do
              laundry between wearings.

       Geeks  come  in  many  shapes  and  sizes. Shape code is divided into two parts. The first
       indicates height, while the second indicates roundness. Mix each section to fit  yourself.
       Examples include: s:++, s++:, s++:--.

              I usually have to duck through doors/I take up three movie seats.

       s++:++ I'm a basketball/linebacker candidate.

       s+:+   I'm a little taller/rounder than most.

       s:     I'm an average geek

       s-:-   I look up to most people. Everyone tells me to gain a few pounds.

       s--:-- I look up to damn near everybody. I tend to have to fight against a strong breeze.

              I  take a phone book with me when I go out so I can see to eat dinner. My bones are
              poking through my skin.

       The only way to become a true geek is through practice and experience.  To this end,  your
       age becomes an important part of your geekiness. Use the qualifiers below to show your age
       (in Terran years). Also, please use BASE 10 numbers.

       In addition, if you wish to give your exact age, you can place the number  after  the  'a'
       identifier. For example: a42

       a+++   60 and up

       a++    50-59

       a+     40-49

       a      30-39

       a-     25-29

       a--    20-24

       a---   15-19

       a----  10-14

       a----- 9 and under (Geek in training?)

       a?     immortal

       !a     it's none of your business how old I am


       There  is  a  record  of geeks that don't use computers. Unfortunately, they are all dead,
       having lived in an era of no computers. All modern geeks have some exposure to  computers.
       If you don't know what a computer is, you need to go back into your shell.

       Most  geeks  identify themselves by their use of computers and computer networks. In order
       to quantify your geekiness level on computers, consult the following  (consider  the  term
       'computers'  synonymous  with  'computer  network').  This  category  represents "general"
       computer aptitude. Categories below will get into specifics.

       C++++  I'll be first in line to get the new cybernetic interface installed into my skull.

       C+++   You mean there is life outside of Internet? You're shittin' me!  I haven't  dragged
              myself to class in weeks.

       C++    Computers are a large part of my existence. When I get up in the morning, the first
              thing I do is log myself in. I play games or mud on weekends, but still  manage  to
              stay off of academic probation.

       C+     Computers  are fun and I enjoy using them. I play a mean game of DOOM!  and can use
              a word processor without resorting to the manual too often. I know that a 3.5" disk
              is  not  a  hard disk. I also know that when it says 'press any key to continue', I
              don't have to look for a key labeled 'ANY'.

       C      Computers are a tool, nothing more. I use it when it serves my purpose.

       C-     Anything more complicated than my calculator and I'm screwed.

       C--    Where's the on switch?

       C---   If you even mention computers, I will rip your head off!


       It seems that a Unix-based operating system is the OS  of  choice  among  most  geeks.  In
       addition to telling us about your Unix abilities, you can also show which specific Unix OS
       you are using. To accomplish this, you include  a  letter  showing  the  brand  with  your
       rating. For example: UL++++ would indicate a sysadmin running Linux.

       B      BSD (use this unless your BSDish system is mentioned below)

       L      Linux

       U      Ultrix

       A      AIX

       V      SysV

       H      HPUX

       I      IRIX

       O      OSF/1 (aka Digital Unix)

       S      Sun OS/Solaris

       C      SCO Unix

       X      NeXT

       *      Some other one not listed

       U++++  I  am  the  sysadmin.  If  you  try  and crack my machine don't be surprised if the
              municipal works department gets an "accidental"  computer-generated  order  to  put
              start a new landfill on your front lawn or your quota is reduced to 4K.

       U+++   I  don't  need  to  crack /etc/passwd because I just modified su so that it doesn't
              prompt me. The admin staff doesn't even know I'm here. If you don't understand what
              I just said, this category does NOT apply to you!

       U++    I've get the entire admin ticked off at me because I am always using all of the CPU
              time and trying to run programs that I don't have  access  to.  I'm  going  to  try
              cracking /etc/passwd next week, just don't tell anyone.

       U+     I not only have a Unix account, but I slam VMS any chance get.

       U      I have a Unix account to do my stuff in

       U-     I have a VMS account.

       U--    I've seen Unix and didn't like it. DEC rules!

       U---   Unix geeks are actually nerds in disguise.

       If  you  enjoy  at least U++ status you have to know about Perl, so you might as well rate
       yourself in this sub-category. Non-Unix geeks don't know what they're missing.

       P+++++ I am Larry Wall, Tom Christiansen, or Randal Schwartz.

       P++++  I don't write  Perl,  I  speak  it.  Perl  has  superseded  all  other  programming
              languages. I firmly believe that all programs can be reduced to a Perl one-liner. I
              use Perl to achieve U+++ status.

       P+++   Perl is a very powerful programming tool. Not only  do  I  no  longer  write  shell
              scripts,  I also no longer use awk or sed. I use Perl for all programs of less than
              a thousand lines.

       P++    Perl is a powerful programming tool. I don't write shell scripts anymore because  I
              write them in Perl.

       P+     I  know  of  Perl.  I  like Perl. I just haven't learned much Perl, but it is on my

       P      I know Perl exists, but that's all.

       P-     What's Perl got that awk and sed don't have?

       P--    Perl users are sick, twisted programmers who are just showing off.

       P---   Perl combines the power of sh, the clarity of sed, and the performance of awk  with
              the simplicity of C. It should be banned.

       P!     Our paranoid admin won't let us install Perl! Says it's a "hacking tool".

       Linux is a hacker-written operating system virtually identical to Unix. It was written for
       and continues to run on your standard 386/486/Pentium PC, but  has  also  been  ported  to
       other systems. Because it is still a young OS, and because it is continually evolving from
       hacker changes and support, it is important that the geek list his Linux ability.

       L+++++ I am Linus, grovel before me.

       L++++  I am a Linux wizard. I munch C code for breakfast and have enough  room  left  over
              for  a  kernel  debugging. I have so many patches installed that I lost track about
              ten versions ago.  Linux newbies consider me a net.god.

       L+++   I use Linux exclusively on my system. I monitor  comp.os.linux.*  and  even  answer
              questions sometimes.

       L++    I  use  Linux  ALMOST  exclusively  on  my  system. I've given up trying to achieve
              Linux.God status, but welcome the OS as a replacement for DOS. I only boot  to  DOS
              to play games.

       L+     I've  managed to get Linux installed and even used it a few times. It seems like it
              is just another OS.

       L      I know what Linux is, but that's about all

       L-     I have no desire to use Linux and frankly don't give  a  rats  patootie  about  it.
              There  are  other, better, operating systems out there. Like Mac, DOS, or Amiga-OS.
              Or, better yet even, would be another free Unix OS like FreeBSD.

       L--    Unix sucks. Because Linux = Unix. Linux Sucks. I worship Bill Gates.

       L---   I am Bill Gates.

       GNU Emacs is the do-all be-everything editor/operating system  available  for  just  about
       every computer architecture out there.

       E+++   Emacs  is my login shell!! M-x doctor is my psychologist! I use emacs to control my
              TV and toaster oven! All you vi people don't  know  what  you're  missing!  I  read
              alt.religion.emacs,, and comp.os.emacs.

       E++    I know and use elisp regularly!

       E+     Emacs is great! I read my mail and news with it!

       E      Yeah, I know what emacs is, and use it as my regular editor.

       E-     Emacs is too big and bloated for my tastes

       E--    Emacs is just a fancy word processor

       E---   Emacs sucks! vi forever!!!

       E----  Emacs sucks! pico forever!!!

   World Wide Web
       It's  relatively  new.  It's  little  understood. Everybody's doing it. How much of a web-
       surfer are you?

       W+++   I am a WebMaster . Don't even think about trying to view my  homepage  without  the
              latest  version  of  Netscape. When I'm not on my normal net connection, I surf the
              web using my Newton and a cellular modem.

       W++    I have a homepage. I surf daily. My homepage is advertised in my .signature.

       W+     I have the latest version of  Netscape,  and  wander  the  web  only  when  there's
              something specific I'm looking for.

       W      I have a browser and a connection. Occasionally I'll use them.

       W-     The  web  is  really  a  pain.  Life  was  so  much  easier when you could transfer
              information by simple ASCII. Now everyone won't even consider your ideas unless you
              spiff them up with bandwidth-consuming pictures and pointless information links.

       W--    A pox on the Web! It wastes time and bandwidth and just gives the uneducated morons
              a reason to clutter the Internet.

   USENET News
       Usenet, a global collection of flaming opinions and senseless babble, was  designed  as  a
       way  to  eat up precious spool space on a system's hard drive. It also is a way for people
       to distribute pornography.

       N++++  I am Tim Pierce

       N+++   I read so many newsgroups that the next batch of news  comes  in  before  I  finish
              reading  the  last  batch, and I have to read for about 2 hours straight before I'm
              caught up on the morning's news. Then there's the afternoon...

       N++    I read all the news in a select handful of groups.

       N+     I read news recreationally when I have some time to kill.

       N      Usenet News? Sure, I read that once

       N-     News is a waste of my time and I avoid it completely

       N--    News sucks! 'Nuff said.

       N---   I work for Time Magazine.

       N----  I am a Scientologist.

       N*     All I do is read news

   USENET Oracle
       (Info taken from the Usenet Oracle Help File) Throughout the  history  of  mankind,  there
       have  been  many  Oracles who have been consulted by many mortals, and some immortals. The
       great Hercules was told by the Gelphic Oracle to serve Eurystheus, king  of  Mycenae,  for
       twelve  years to atone for the murder of his own children.  It was the Oracle of Ammon who
       told King Cepheus to chain his daughter Andromeda to the rocks of  jappa  to  appease  the
       terrible sea monster that was ravaging the coasts. That solution was never tested, though,
       as Perseus saved the girl in the nick of time.

       With the advent of the electronic age, and especially high-speed e-mail communication, the
       spirit  of  the Oracles found a new outlet, and we now recognize another great Oracle, the
       Usenet Oracle.

       For more information, check out the newsgroups and  or
       the  FTP  archives at  Additional information and instructions
       can  be  found  by  sending  an  e-mail  message   with   the   subject   of   'help'   to

       o+++++ I am Steve Kinzler

       o++++  I am an active Priest

       o+++   I was a Priest, but have retired.

       o++    I have made the Best Of Oracularities.

       o+     I have been incarnated at least once.

       o      I've submitted a question, but it has never been incarnated.

       o-     I sent my question to the wrong group and got flamed.

       o--    Who needs answers from a bunch of geeks anyhow?

       Kibo is. That is all that can be said. If you don't understand, read alt.religion.kibology

              I am Kibo

       K+++++ I've had sex with Kibo

       K++++  I've met Kibo

       K+++   I've gotten mail from Kibo

       K++    I've read Kibo

       K+     I like Kibo

       K      I know who Kibo is

       K-     I don't know who Kibo is

       K--    I dislike Kibo

       K---   I am currently hunting Kibo down with the intent of ripping his still-beating heart
              out of his chest and showing it to him as he dies

       K----  I am Xibo

   Microsoft Windows
       A good many geeks suffer through the  use  of  various  versions  of  Microsoft's  Windows
       running on or as a replacement for DOS. Rate your Windows Geekiness.

       w+++++ I am Bill Gates

       w++++  I  have Windows, Windows 95, Windows NT, and Windows NT Advanced Server all running
              on my SMP RISC machine. I haven't seen daylight in six months.

       w+++   I am a MS Windows programming god. I wrote a VxD driver to allow MS Windows and DOS
              to share the use of my waffle iron.  P.S. Unix sux.

       w++    I write MS Windows programs in C and think about using C++ someday. I've written at
              least one DLL.

       w+     I have installed my own custom sounds, wallpaper, and screen savers so my PC  walks
              and  talks like a fun house. Oh yeah, I have a hundred TrueType(tm) fonts that I've
              installed but never used. I never lose Minesweeper and Solitaire

       w      Ok, so I use MS Windows, I don't have to like it.

       w-     I'm still trying to install MS Windows and have at least one peripheral that  never
              works right

       w--    MS  Windows is a joke operating system. Hell, it's not even an operating system. NT
              is Not Tough enough for me either. 95 is how may times it will crash an hour.

       w---   Windows has set back the computing industry by at least 10 years. Bill Gates should
              be drawn, quartered, hung, shot, poisoned, disembowelled, and then REALLY hurt.

       The  operating  system that looks a lot like Windows, acts a lot like Windows, but is much
       better than Windows.

       O+++   I live, eat and breathe OS/2. All of my hard drives are HPFS. I am the Anti-Gates.

       O++    I use OS/2 for all my computing needs. I use some DOS and Windows programs, but run
              them  under  OS/2. If the program won't run under OS/2, then obviously I don't need

       O+     I keep a DOS partition on my hard drive "just in case". I'm afraid to try HPFS.

       O      I finally managed to get OS/2 installed but wasn't too terribly impressed.

       O-     Tried it, didn't like it.

       O--    I can't even get the thing to install!

       O---   Windows RULES!!! Long live Bill Gates. (See w++++)

       O----  I am Bill Gates of Borg. OS/2 is irrelevant.

       Many geeks have abandoned the character-based computer altogether and moved  over  to  the
       Macintosh. It in important to give notification of your Mac rating.

       M++    I  am a Mac guru. Anything those DOS putzes and Unix nerds can do, I can do better,
              and if not, I'll write the damn software to do it.

       M+     A Mac has it's uses and I use it quite often.

       M      I use a Mac, but I'm pretty indifferent about it.

       M-     Macs suck. All real geeks have a character prompt.

       M--    Macs do more than suck. They make a user stupid by allowing them to use the  system
              without knowing what they are doing. Mac weenies have lower IQs than the fuzz in my

       Many geeks use the VMS operating system by DEC for all  of  their  mainframe  and  network

       V+++   I  am  a  VMS sysadmin. I wield far more power than those UNIX admins, because UNIX
              can be found on any dweeb's desktop. Power through obscurity is my motto.

       V++    Unix is a passing fad compared to the real power in the universe, my VMS system.

       V+     I tend to like VMS better than Unix

       V      I've used VMS.

       V-     Unix is much better than VMS for my computing needs.

       V--    I would rather smash my head repeatedly into a brick wall than suffer the agony  of
              working  with VMS. It's reminiscent of a dead and decaying pile of moose droppings.
              Unix rules the universe.


       The last few years has seen the rise of the  political  geek.  This  phenomena  is  little
       understood,  but  some  theorize  that  it  has  come about because of the popular media's
       attempts to demonize the Internet and  computer  use  in  general,  and  the  government's
       willingness  to go along with it. Others propose that the aging geek population has simply
       started taking an interest in the world around them. Some support the "Sun Spot" theory.

   Political and Social Issues
       We live is a society where everyone not only has a right to, but is expected to, whine and
       complain  about  everyone  else. Rate where, in general, your political views on different
       social issues fall.

       PS+++  Legalize drugs! Abolish the government. "Fuck the draft!"

       PS++   I give to liberal causes. I march for gay rights. I'm a card carrying member of the
              ACLU. Keep abortion safe and legal.

       PS+    My  whole  concept  of liberalism is that nobody has the right to tell anybody else
              what to do, on either side of the political fence. If you don't like it,  turn  the
              bloody channel.

       PS     I really don't have an opinion; nobody's messing with my freedoms right now.

       PS-    Label records! Keep dirty stuff off the TV and the Internet.

       PS--   Oppose sex education, abortion rights, gay rights. Rush Limbaugh is my spokesman.

       PS---  Repent  left-wing  sinners and change your wicked evil ways.  Buchanan/Robertson in

   Politics and Economic Issues
       Social and economic attitudes are seldom on the same  side  of  the  political  fence.  Of
       course,  most  geeks  don't  really  care much about economics; having no money left after
       buying new computer toys.

       PE+++  Abolish antitrust legislation. Raise taxes on everyone but the  rich  so  that  the
              money can trickle-down to the masses.

       PE++   Keep the government off the backs of businesses. Deregulate as much as possible.

       PE+    Balance the budget with spending cuts and an amendment.

       PE     Distrust both government and business.

       PE-    It's  ok  to increase government spending, so we can help more poor people. Tax the
              rich! Cut the defense budget!

       PE--   Capitalism is evil! Government should provide the services we really  need.  Nobody
              should be rich.

       With  the  birth  of  the  overused buzzword "The Information Superhighway", concerns over
       privacy from evil governmental bad-guys{tm} has led to the formation of of an  unofficial,
       loosely  organized  band of civil libertarians who spend much of their time discussing how
       to ensure privacy in the information future. This group is known by some as  "cypherpunks"
       (by others, as anarchistic subversives). To this end, tell us how punkish you are.

       Y+++   I am T.C. May

       Y++    I  am  on  the  cypherpunks mailing list and active around Usenet.  I never miss an
              opportunity to talk about the evils of Clipper and ITAR and the NSA. Orwell's  1984
              is more than a story, it is a warning to our's and future generations. I'm a member
              of the EFF.

       Y+     I have an interest and concern in privacy issues, but in reality I  am  not  really
              all that active or vocal.

       Y      I'm pretty indifferent on the whole issue.

       Y-     It  seems  to  me  that  all  of  these concerns are a little extreme.  I mean, the
              government must be able to protect itself from  criminals  and  the  populace  from
              indecent speech.

       Y--    Get  a  life.  The  only  people  that need this kind of protection are people with
              something to hide. I think cypherpunks are just a little paranoid.

       Y---   I am L. Detweiler.

       Pretty Good Privacy (aka PGP) is a program available on many platforms that  will  encrypt
       files so that prying eyes (particularly governmental) can't look at them.

              I am Philip Zimmerman

       PGP+++ I  don't send or answer mail that is not encrypted, or at the very least signed. If
              you are reading this without decrypting it first, something  is  wrong.  IT  DIDN'T
              COME FROM ME!

       PGP++  I have the most recent version and use it regularly

       PGP+   "Finger me for my public key"

       PGP    I've used it, but stopped long ago.

       PGP-   I don't have anything to hide.

       PGP--  I feel that the glory of the Internet is in the anarchic, trusting environment that
              so nurtures the exchange of information. Encryption just bogs that down.

       PGP--- If you support encryption on the Internet, you must be a drug dealer  or  terrorist
              or something like that.

              Oh, here is something you all can use that is better (insert Clipper here).


       Geeks love to play. No matter their age, all geeks enjoy playing. Of course, the object of
       this entertainment takes a myriad of different forms. What is it that  pushes  a  geek  to
       play?  Is  it  simply  a  desire to relive their childhood? Or perhaps there is a piece of
       geeky genetic code that  requires  intellectual  stimulation.  Who  knows,  maybe  it's  a
       Freudian thing...

   Star Trek
       Most  geeks  have  an  undeniable  love  for  the Star Trek television show (in any of its
       different incarnations). Because GEEK is often synonymous with TREKKIE (real geeks  aren't
       so  anal  as  to label themselves TREKKER), it is important that all geeks list their Trek

       t+++   It's not just a TV show, it's a religion. I know all about warp field dynamics  and
              the  principles  behind  the transporter. I have memorized the TECH manual. I speak
              Klingon. I go to cons with Vulcan ears on. I have no life.

       t++    It's the best show around. I have all the episodes and the movies on tape  and  can
              quote  entire  scenes  verbatim. I've built a few of the model kits too. But you'll
              never catch me at one of those conventions. Those people are kooks.

       t+     It's a damn fine TV show and is one of the only things good on television any more.

       t      It's just another TV show

       t-     Maybe it is just me, but I have no idea what  the  big  deal  with  Star  Trek  is.
              Perhaps I'm missing something but I just think it is bad drama.

       t--    Star  Trek  is  just  another  Space  Opera. William Shatner isn't an actor, he's a
              poser! And what's with this Jean-Luc Picard? A Frenchman  with  a  British  accent?
              Come  on. Isn't Voyager just a rehash of Lost in Space?  Has Sisko even breathed in
              the last two seasons? Come on. I'd only watch this show if my remote control broke.

       t---   Star Trek SUCKS! It is the worst crap I have ever seen! Hey, all you  trekkies  out
              there, GET A LIFE! (William Shatner is a t---)

       t*     I identify with Barclay, the greatest of the Trek Geeks.

   Babylon 5
       For  many  years,  Sci-Fi  geeks have wished for a television show that would overcome the
       limitations of Star Trek. For many, a show called Babylon 5 has met that  demand,  with  a
       deep storyline, exciting characters and state-of-the-art computer generated effects.

       5++++  I am J. Michael Straczynski

       5+++   I  am  a  True  Worshipper  of the Church of Joe who lives eats breathes and thinks
              Babylon 5, and has Evil thoughts about stealing Joe's videotape  archives  just  to
              see  episodes  earlier.  I am planning to break into the bank and steal the triple-
              encoded synopsis of the 5-year arc.

       5++    Finally a show that shows what a  real  future  would  look  like.   None  of  this
              Picardian  "Let's  talk  about it and be friends" crap. And what's this? We finally
              get to see a bathroom! Over on that Enterprise, they've been holding  it  for  over
              seven years!

       5+     Babylon 5 certainly presents a fresh perspective in the Sci-Fi universe. I watch it

       5      I've seen it, I am pretty indifferent to it.

       5-     This show is sub-par. The acting is wooden, the special effects are obviously  poor
              quality. In general, it seems like a very cheap Star Trek ripoff.

       5--    You  call  this  Sci-Fi? That is such a load of crap! This show is just a soap with
              bad actors, piss-poor effects, and lame storylines. Puh-leese.

       The Fox Network's Friday evening  show  The  X-Files  has  become  the  staple  of  Friday
       geekhood.  Any  show  that  has aliens, governmental conspiracies, aliens, psychic powers,
       aliens, and other weird stuff is, by definition, a geeky show.

       X++++  I am Chris Carter

       X+++   This is the BEST show on TV, and  it's  about  time.  I've  seen  everything  David
              Duchovny  and  Gillian  Anderson  have ever done that been recorded and I'm a loyal
              Duchovny/ Gillian Anderson fan. I've Converted at least 10  people.  I  have  every
              episode  at  SP,  debate the fine details on-line, and have a credit for at least 2

       X++    This is one of the better shows I've seen. I wish I'd  taped  everything  from  the
              start  at SP, because I'm wearing out my EP tapes. I'll periodically debate online.
              I've Converted at least 5 people. I've gotten a YAXA.

       X+     I've Converted my family and watch the show when I  remember.   It's  really  kinda

       X      Ho hum. Just another Fox show.

       X-     It's ok if you like paranoia and conspiracy stories, but, let's face it, it's crap.

       X--    If I wanted to watch this kind of stuff, I'd talk to Oliver Stone

   Role Playing
       Role-playing  games  such  as  Dungeons & Dragons have long been a part of the traditional
       geek life. Because geeks often become so involved in their  role-playing  that  they  lose
       touch with reality, include one of the following role-playing codes.

       R+++   I've written and published my own gaming materials.

       R++    There is no life outside the role of the die. I know all of piddly rules of (chosen
              game). _MY_ own warped rules scare the rest of the players.

       R+     I've got my weekly sessions set up and a character that I know better than  I  know

       R      Role-Playing? That's just something to do to kill a Saturday afternoon

       R-     Gosh, what an utter waste of time!

       R--    Role-Players are instruments of pure evil.

       R---   I work for T$R.

       R*     I thought life WAS role-playing?

       Many geeks have lives that revolve around television.

       tv+++  There's  nothing  I  can  experience  "out  there"  that I can't see coming over my
              satellite dish. I wish there were MORE channels.  I live for the O.J. Trial.

       tv++   I just leave the tv on, to make sure I don't miss anything.

       tv+    I watch some tv every day.

       tv     I watch only the shows that are actually worthwhile, such as those found on PBS.

       tv-    I watch tv for the news and 'special programming.'

       tv--   I turn my tv on during natural disasters.

       !tv    I do not own a television.

       In addition (or maybe on the other hand), many geeks have lives that revolve around books.

       b++++  I read a book a day. I have library cards in three states. I  have  discount  cards
              from  every  major  bookstore.  I've  ordered  books from another country to get my
              Favorite Author Fix.

       b+++   I consume a few books a week as part of a staple diet.

       b++    I find the time to get through at least one new book a month.

       b+     I enjoy reading, but don't get the time very often.

       b      I read the newspaper and the occasional book.

       b-     I read when there is no other way to get the information.

       b--    I did not actually READ the geek code, I just had someone tell me.

       Simply the geekiest comic strip in existence.
       for more information.

              I am Scott Adams.

       DI++++ I've received mail from Scott Adams. I'm in the DNRC (Dogbert's New Ruling Class).

       DI+++  I am a Dilbert prototype

       DI++   I work with people that act a lot like Dilbert and his boss.

       DI+    I read Dilbert daily, often understanding it

       DI     I read Dilbert infrequently, rarely understanding it

       DI-    Is that the comic about the engineers?

       DI--   Don't read it, but I think the dog is kinda cute.

       DI---  I  don't  think  it's  funny to make fun of managers trying their best to run their
              organizational units.

       There is a game out for the PCs and other computers called DOOM. It's a 3D virtual reality
       simulation  where  you  race around and blow things away with large-caliber weaponry. This
       has led to a series of similar games such as the Star Wars themed  Dark  Forces.  Tell  us
       about your abilities with these 3D games. (yes, some of them aren't actually Doom. Cope!)

       D++++  I work for iD Software.

       D+++   I  crank  out  PWAD  files  daily, complete with new monsters, weaponry, sounds and
              maps. I'm a DOOM God. I can solve the original maps in nightmare mode with my  eyes

       D++    I've  played  the shareware version and bought the real one and I'm actually pretty
              good at the game. I occasionally download PWAD files and play them too.

       D+     It's a fun, action game that is a nice diversion on a lazy afternoon.

       D      I've played the game and I'm pretty indifferent.

       D-     I've played the game and really didn't think it was all that impressive.

       D--    It's an overly-violent game and pure crap

       D---   To hell with Doom, I miss Zork.

       D----  I've seen better on my Atari 2600

   The Geek Code
       G+++++ I am Robert Hayden

       G++++  I have made a suggestion for future versions  of  the  code  (note  that  making  a
              suggestion  just  to  get  a  G++++ rating doesn't count, you also have to at least
              qualify for a G+++ rating :-)

       G+++   I have memorized the entire geek code, and can decode others' codes in my  head.  I
              know by heart where to find the current version of the code on the net.

       G++    I know what each letter means, but sometimes have to look up the specifics.

       G+     I  was  once  G++  (or  higher),  but the new versions are getting too long and too

       G      I know what the geek code is and even did up this code.

       G-     What a tremendous waste of time this Geek Code is.

       G--    Not only a waste of time, but it obviously shows that this Hayden guy needs a life.


       Geeks, unlike the lower lifeforms known as nerds, have lives. They have things to do  that
       are in the outside world. Of course, this is usually done with other geeks, but that's not
       the point. The point is,, that geeks  are  not  necessarily  the  outcasts  society  often
       believes  they  are.  The  fact  is  that  society isn't kool enough to be included in our

       All geeks have a varying amount of education.

       e+++++ I am Stephen Hawking

       e++++  Managed to get my Ph.D.

       e+++   Got a Masters degree

       e++    Got a Bachelors degree

       e+     Got an Associates degree

       e      Finished High School

       e-     Haven't finished High School

       e--    Haven't even entered High School

       e*     I learned everything there is to know about life from the "Hitchhiker's Trilogy".

       Tell us about your geeky home.

       h++    Living in a cave with 47 computers and an Internet feed, located  near  a  Dominoes
              pizza. See !d.

       h+     Living  alone,  get  out  once  a week to buy food, no more than once a month to do
              laundry. All surfaces covered.

       h      Friends come over to visit every once in a while to talk about Geek  things.  There
              is a place for them to sit.

       h-     Living with one or more registered Geeks.

       h--    Living  with  one  or more people who know nothing about being a Geek and refuse to
              watch Babylon 5.

       h---   Married, (persons living romantically with someone might as well  label  themselves
              h---, you're as good as there already.)

       h----  Married with children - Al Bundy can sympathize

       h!     I am stuck living with my parents!

       h*     I'm not sure where I live anymore. This lab/workplace seems like home to me.

       While  many geeks are highly successful at having relationships, a good many more are not.
       Give us the gritty details.

       r+++   Found someone, dated, and am now married.

       r++    I've dated my current S.O. for a long time.

       r+     I date frequently, bouncing from one relationship to another.

       r      I date periodically.

       r-     I have difficulty maintaining a relationship.

       r--    People just aren't interested in dating me.

       r---   I'm beginning to think that I'm a leper or something, the way people avoid me  like
              the plague.

       !r     I've never had a relationship.

       r*     signifying  membership  in  the  SBCA  (Sour Bachelor(ette)'s Club of America). The
              motto is 'Bitter, but not Desperate'. First founded at Caltech.

       r%     I was going out with someone, but the asshole dumped me.

       Geeks have traditionally had problems with sex (ie, they never have  any).  Because  geeks
       are  so  wrapped  up  in  their  sexuality  (or  lack of sexuality for that matter), it is
       important that the geek be willing to quantify their sexual experiences.

       This code also is used to denote the gender of the geek. Females use x in  this  category,
       while males use y. Those that do not wish to disclose their gender can use z. For example:

       x+     A female who has had sex

       y+     A male who has had sex.

       z+     A person (gender undisclosed) who has had sex.

       For those persons who do not wish to give out any details of their sex life, the use of z?
       (where z is the gender code) will allow you to do so.

       z+++++ I am Madonna

       z++++  I have a few little rug rats to prove I've been there. Besides, with  kids  around,
              who has time for sex?

       z+++   I'm married, so I can get it (theoretically) whenever I want.

       z++    I  was  once  referred to as 'easy'. I have no idea where that might have come from

       z+     I've had real, live sex.

       z      I've had sex. Oh! You mean with someone else? Then no.

       z-     Not having sex by choice.

       z--    Not having sex because I just can't get any...

       z---   Not having sex because I'm a nun or a priest.

       z*     I'm a pervert.

       z**    I've been known to make perverts look like angels.

       !z     Sex? What's that? I've had no sexual experiences.

       z?     It's none of your business what my sex life is like (this is used  to  denote  your
              gender only).

       !z+    Sex? What's that? No experience, willing to learn!

How to Display Your Code

       Now  that  you  have  your ratings for each of the above categories, it's time to assemble
       your code for displaying to the world. Take each category you determined and list them all
       together with one space between each one. If you run out space on one line, continue it on
       the next. When completed, it will look something like the following:

       GED/J d-- s:++>: a-- C++(++++) ULU++ P+ L++ E---- W+(-) N+++ o+ K+++ w--- O- M+ V-- PS++>$
       PE++>$ Y++ PGP++ t- 5+++ X++ R+++>$ tv+ b+ DI+++ D+++ G+++++ e++ h r-- y++**

       If  you  are  going  to  place  your  Geek Code into your .signature or .plan file (highly
       recommended), you should create your GEEK CODE BLOCK.  This parody of the  output  created
       by  the PGP program will attempt to universalize how you will see the Geek Code around the
       net. Your GEEK CODE BLOCK will look like the following:

       -----BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK-----
       Version: 3.1
       GED/J d-- s:++>: a-- C++(++++) ULU++ P+ L++ E---- W+(-) N+++ o+ K+++ w--- O- M+ V-- PS++>$
       PE++>$ Y++ PGP++ t- 5+++ X++ R+++>$ tv+ b+ DI+++ D+++ G+++++ e++ h r-- y++**

       ------END GEEK CODE BLOCK------
       As  you  can  see, the actual code hasn't changed. However, the version number of the code
       you are using is displayed along with lines starting and ending the  code.  Make  sure  to
       duplicate  the  start and end lines exactly as the example in order to maintain a net-wide
       standard (ie. five dashes front and back for the BEGIN line and six for the END line,  and
       all capital letters.)

       "HELP!"  you  scream as your mailer or news reader won't let you post more than four lines
       in the .signature. That is because some anal programs limit the size  of  your  signature.
       Your  next  best  bet,  then  is  to put your GEEK CODE BLOCK into your .plan file and put
       something to the effect of "Finger for Geek Code" into your .signature.  That,  or  get  a
       better mailer.




       The  Geek  Code  is  available  at  the  following official sites. All other sites are not


       Robert A. Hayden <>

       This man-page was written by Jan  Schaumann  <>  as  part  of  "The
       Missing Man Pages Project".  Please see for