NAME

       rtfm - a response for easy questions from clueless lusers

SYNOPSIS

       rtfm [ -p ] [ -h ] [ -d option ] [ -i interval ] [ -a action ] [ -q luser]

DESCRIPTION

       rtfm is a command for system administrators to use in dealing with new users.  rtfm is useful for dealing
       with users having trouble with their pictures downloaded from alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.   rtfm  will
       continue  to  run  until  killed  by hand, using `kill processid'.  rtfm can be invoked by anyone who has
       enough of a clue to know what a man page is.

OPTIONS

       -p     Give the answer in a polite fashion.

       -h     Tell the clueless luser to go to hell. Used with the -p option, they'll look forward to the trip.

       -d option
              Debug mode using option where option is one of the following:

              query Ask the luser what part of rtfm that he or she does not understand.

              planet Ask what planet the luser is from.

              literacy Ask the luser if the luser can read.

              english Ask the luser if the luser understands English.

              Mac Ask the luser if the luser has ever used a computer other than a Macintosh.

              Nintendo Same as the Mac option, but slightly more harsh.

       -i interval
              Enable within interval seconds. interval is the time between a luser asking  the  same  damn  fool
              question.   This option must be activated for the -a option. It stores the time of the question in
              /var/run/luser and checks that file each time that rtfm is activated.  interval  is  a  number  of
              minutes, of the form xxx.xx where each x is a decimal digit. The default is 5.00 minutes.

       -a action
              This defines some action to be taken in the event that the -i flag condition is met. action can be
              defined either at the flag level or by a file. The options for flags are as follows:

              scream Let out a scream of utter frustration.

              hair Rip out your hair in total frustration.

              rm Automatic command ran in lusers home directory. It can have an addition -rf flag added.

              ignore Ignore the luser.

              warn Warn the other sysadmins.

              forward Forward to CNS advising. Particullary if the complaint is /dev/null is full.

              kill Kill all the lusers processes.

              FILE=file.name Use a file to define a course of actions. This can be any  executable  file  except
              those  using  ksh,  which  no god-fearing right-thinking sysadmin would be caught using lest he be
              struck down by the wrath of God.

       -q luser
              Query file /etc/luser to see if luser is a real luser or a first time luser.

FILES

       /etc/luser

SEE ALSO

       mr.biff(2),

BUGS

       rtfm only checks /var/run/luser when the -a option is specified and  after  the  -i  option  is  invoked.
       Otherwise  /tmp  would  fill  up  rapidly  on many systems. Also, core may dump if the -a FILE= option is
       anatomically impossible.