NAME

       condom - protection against viruses and prevention of child processes

SYNOPSIS

       condom [options] [processid]

DESCRIPTION

       condom  provides protection against System Transmitted Viruses (STVs) that may invade your
       system.  Although the spread of such viruses across a network can only be abated by  aware
       and  cautious  users, condom is the only highly effective means of preventing viruses from
       entering your system (see celibacy(1)).  Any  data  passed  to  condom  by  the  protected
       process  will  be blocked, as specified by the value of the -s option (see OPTIONS below).
       condom is known to defend against the following viruses and other malicious afflictions:

              •      AIDS
              •      Herpes Simplex (genital varieties)
              •      Syphilis
              •      Crabs
              •      Genital warts
              •      Gonhorrea
              •      Chlamydia
              •      Michelangelo
              •      Jerusalem

       When used alone or in conjunction with  pill(1),  sponge(1),  foam(1),  and/or  setiud(3),
       condom  also  prevents  the  conception  of  a  child  process.   If invoked from within a
       synchronous process, condom has, by default, an 80%  chance  of  preventing  the  external
       processes  from  becoming  parent processes (see the -s option below).  When other process
       contraceptives are used, the chance of  preventing  a  child  process  from  being  forked
       becomes   much   greater.   See  pill(1),  sponge(1),  foam(1),  and  setiud(3)  for  more
       information.

       If no options  are  given,  the  current  user's  login  process  (as  determined  by  the
       environment  variable  USER)  is  protected with a Trojan rough-cut latex condom without a
       reservoir tip.  The optional ``processid'' argument is an integer specifying  the  process
       to protect.

       NOTE:  condom  may  only  be used with a hard disk.  condom will terminate abnormally with
       exit code -1 if used with a floppy disk (see DIAGNOSTICS below).

OPTIONS

       The following options may be given to condom:

       -b brand
              brands are as follows:

                 trojan (default)
                 ramses
                 sheik
                 goldcoin
                 fourex

       -m material
              The valid materials are:

                 latex (default)
                 saranwrap
                 membrane
                        WARNING!  The membrane option is not endorsed by the System Administrator
                        General as an effective barrier against certain viruses.  It is supported
                        only for the sake of tradition.

       -f flavor
              The following flavors are currently supported:

                 plain (default)
                 apple
                 banana
                 cherry
                 cinnamon
                 licorice
                 orange
                 peppermint
                 raspberry
                 spearmint
                 strawberry

       -r     Toggle reservoir tip (default is no reservoir tip)

       -s strength
              strength is an integer between 20 and  100  specifying  the  resilience  of  condom
              against  data  passed  to condom by the protected process.  Using a larger value of
              strength increases condom's protective abilities,  but  also  reduces  interprocess
              communication.   A  smaller value of strength increases interprocess communication,
              but also increases the likelihood of a  security  breach.   An  extremely  vigorous
              process  or  one  passing  an  enormous  amount of data to condom will increase the
              chance of condom's failure.  The default strength is 80%.

       -t texture
              Valid textures are:

                 rough (default)
                 ribbed
                 bumps
                 lubricated
                        (provides smoother interaction between processes)

       WARNING: The use of an external application to condom in order to reduce friction  between
       processes  has  been  proven  in benchmark tests to decrease condom's strength factor!  If
       execution speed is important to your process, use the ``-t lubricated'' option.

DIAGNOSTICS

       condom terminates with one of the following exit codes:

       -1     An attempt was made to use condom on a floppy disk.

       0      condom exited successfully (no data was passed to the synchronous process).

       1      condom failed and data was allowed through.  The danger of transmission of  an  STV
              or  the forking of a child process is inversely proportional to the number of other
              protections employed and is directly proportional to  the  ages  of  the  processes
              involved.

BUGS

       condom  is  NOT  100%  effective  at  preventing  a  child process from being forked or at
       deterring the invasion of a virus (although the System Administrator  General  has  deemed
       that  condom  is  the  most effective means of preventing the spread of system transmitted
       viruses).  See celibacy(1) for information on a  100%  effective  program  for  preventing
       these problems.

       Remember,  the  use of sex(1) and other related routines should only occur between mature,
       consenting processes.  If you must use  sex(1),  please  employ  condom  to  protect  your
       process  and  your synchronous process.  If we are all responsible, we can stop the spread
       of STVs.

AUTHORS and HISTORY

       The original version of condom was  released  in  Roman  times  and  was  only  marginally
       effective.   With  the  advent of modern technology, condom now supports many more options
       and is much more effective.

       The current release of condom was written by Ken Maupin at the  University  of  Washington
       (maupin@cs.washington.edu) and was last updated on 10/7/92.

SEE ALSO

       celibacy(1), sex(1), pill(1), sponge(1), foam(1), and setiud(3)