Provided by: funny-manpages_1.3-5.1_all
NAME
flog — speed up a process
SYNOPSIS
flog [-l n] [-a m] [-u] process-id
DESCRIPTION
Flog is used to stimulate an improvement in the performance of a process that is already in execution. The process-id is the process number of the process that is to be disciplined. The value n of the -l flag is the flagellation constant, i.e., the number of lashes to be administered per minute. If this argument is omitted, the default is 17, which is the most random random number. The value m of the -a flag is the number of times the inducement to speed up is to be administered. If this argument is omitted, the default is one, which is based on the possibility that after that the process will rectify its behavior of its own volition. The presence of the -u flag indicates that flog is to be unmerciful in its actions. This nullifies the effects of the other keyletter arguments. It is recommended that this option be used only on extremely stubborn processes, as its over-use may have detrimental effects.
FILES
Flog will read the file /have/mercy for any entry containing the process-id of the process being speeded-up. The file can contain whatever supplications are deemed necessary, but, of course, these will be ignored if the -u flag is supplied.
SEE ALSO
On Improving Process Performance by the Administration of Corrective Stimulation, CACM , vol. 4, 1657, pp. 356-654.
DIAGNOSTICS
If a named process does not exist, flog replies ``flog you'' on the standard output. If flog happens to kill(2) the process, which usually happens when the -u keyletter argument is supplied, it writes ``RIP,'' followed by the process-id of the deceased, on the standard output.
BUGS
Spurious supplications for mercy by the process being flogged sometimes wind up on the standard output, rather than in /shut/up. FLOG(1)